Thursday, August 2, 2007
What does your family think about your burlesque activities?
What does your family think about your burlesque activities, be they striptease or otherwise? Are they your biggest fans? Do they approve, but from a distance? Does your burlesque ruin Christmas and Thanksgiving gatherings? Shock and appall Grandma? Or knowing they won't approve, have you kept it a secret from the relatives?
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My family has been amazingly supportive, actually, but I broke them in by making my living as an artist's model for years before I started performing burlesque. My grandparents have seen the show and loved it. My aunts and uncles ask for updates on how things are going. My younger brother has been--he just closes his eyes when I'm on.
The best conversation I had about performing burlesque, though, was with my mom. I made some sort of flippant comment once about "...prancing around on stage in my underpants," and my mom looked at me with horror and said, "But...it's not your *underpants*! It's a *costume*!"
Yes, mom. An underpants costume.
My folks know I dance burlesque... my parents haven't seen me, but my aunts, uncles, one set of grandparents and my cousins have. Their Irish sensibility allows for lots of leeway in the name of art, so they all said "It's just a bit of theatre!" Somehow they've convinced my mother of this and she now leaves me alone, except for the occasional whine "But what am I supposed to tell people you doooo?" I tell her "A little bit of everything", which is the truth.
She wouldn't be supportive if she saw it, and she'd worry. So she's not invited to my shows for the same reason she's not invited to my apartment in Bed Stuy: the things I love appall her, and vice versa, and we're better off at a distance that way.
My dad knows and is helpful (sends me songs!) but has no inclination to see me, and I really have no inclination to have him in the audience, so it works.
My sisters have come to see me at Teaseorama, Exotic World, and the Sex Workers' Art Show. My older sister said that seeing the Legends perform at the striptease reunion changed her life.
My mom hated my working in strip joints because she hated me being in a position to be looked down upon by society. She felt like it made me really vulnerable to abuse and she worried about it a lot. She's not sure how she feels about the burlesque but she's happy for the pleasure I take in it, even though she understands that some of the same tastes and inclinations that led me to strip joints also led me to burlesque.
My uncle is really the only person in my family that knows and is actively a part of my burlesque life. He's a blues musician and used to play as a guest performer at some of my earlier shows that I produced. He's very supportive of my burlesque activities and comes to shows when he can.
My father is still a little confused about what burlesque actually is, despite my attempts to explain it to him. I think he might be playing dumb on purpose sometimes, rather than facing the obvious fact that his daughter gets naked on stage in front of strangers. He's supportive of my endeavors and likes to hear about things like photo shoots and tour dates and things that aren't so much the burlesque related aspects of the show.
The rest of my family issues with my lifestyle in general, so burlesque is rather low on the list of things I'd discuss with them if I were to discuss my life with them...
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